Perfectionism is a blessing and a curse as well. If you are reading this article already, perhaps you’re a perfectionist and want to stop being one. Your drive for perfectionism can be a benediction but a challenge too. If you’re a person with traits such as being detail-oriented, meticulous and particularism you probably have already wowed many people with your extraordinary skills but the real challenge hits you when things don’t go well. Your best advantage when leads you to the sense of misery, naught and stress, things can be difficult for you even as a perfectionist to cope up. That continuous urge to strive hard to get everything perfect and right, comes at a high cost which affects your relationships, behavior, nature, well-being, mental health as well as emotional health. Perfectionists are the great achievers and always manage to amaze people with their stellar expertise but they are the ones who mostly talk about being stressed, exhausted and anything but perfect which compels them to stop being a perfectionist and be a normal person.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is nothing but the denial to accept any less perfection standard or near to average standard. In other words, it is an implausible desire to achieve exemplary along with being unduly critical of oneself and others. It is an uncompromising need or urge to meet certain standard of expectations computed by yourself. In simpler word’s perfectionism is the way of thinking that is associated with one’s behavior to look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, do everything perfect in a perfect manner to avoid criticism, failure, judgement and ridicule.
How Perfectionism affects you negatively?
Perfectionists are undoubtedly the high-achievers but what motivates them is their fear of being criticized, failure and other’s discernment. Perfectionism has a clear disadvantage of depleting one’ self-esteem, fulfillment of life and mental peace leading to massive stress, anxiety, fear of judgement or concerns of insufficiency. Characteristics of perfectionism are often associated with emotional instability and mental health issues such as OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), anxiety and depression. People with traits of perfectionism compel themselves to meet unachievable standards. They are immensely critical of themselves and exhaust themselves over anything that doesn’t hit the mark. Perfectionists have a fear of being low achievers if not reach their goal with perfection. This trait of over achieving and pushing the limits consistently with perfection exhaust them easily and affects their metal health as well as relationships with people around them. By the time they realize the feeling of burn out and sense of missing peace, they find ways to stop being perfectionist that eventually affects their self-esteem, confidence and self-efficacy.
Ways to Stop Being a Perfectionist
Dealing with your own trait can be a massive challenge. How tempting can it be when you see imperfections all around you, want to make things perfect and right, however, instantly remind yourself to stop getting bothered and to suffer any further? It could be hard to pay no heed to your own inner unrelenting voice that endlessly tells you to get things done the way it should be. But, no worries, if you’re done with being perfectionist and affecting your own values, nature, self-development and relationships, here are absolute tips to help you stop doing everything perfect. Let’s get to the list:
1. Learn to accept
Accepting things, the way they are is crucial if you want to diminish your urge for perfectionism. Accept people, the way they work, accept a task whatever standard it manifests unless it affects work quality, accept people’s and your own mistakes, accept negative comments, ridicules by other people. Learning to accept few things in your life helps you to get used to the average standard life ethics to stop yourself from being compelled by your perfectionism trait.
2. Know, you’re no God but human
Perfectionist use to forget that they are humans and humans implies imperfections. It is wise to accept this fact. If someone or some force is there which is known to be perfect is the God, the Universe, the Divine force. Humans are absolutely welcome to make mistakes and learn form it. Trying deliberately to make things perfect and pushing people’s and your own limits can be affecting your mental health as well as social and personal relationships.
3. Give your practical best
To stop being a perfectionist, it is integral to understand that giving your best and doing things perfectly has a fine line difference. Giving your best implies making all hard efforts to prove yourself worthy and liable as well, but perfectionism is letting no possibilities of failure and flaws to exist in your work or way of living so that no one can hold you responsible.
4. Understand your fear
The motivation for perfectionists is their fear and trepidation. The fear of being criticized, ridiculed, being a talk among failures bothers them the most. Hence, this fear motivates them to work out and out to reach perfection. To reduce this effect or mental process, you need to recognize the fear factor that scares you most. Work on it. Why can’t you accept it? Picture the worst consequence, how worst can it be?
5. Give others the opportunity
You want to make your presentation afar from flaws, doubts and risks. You working towards perfection, adding every detail, all figures, proven data, precise charts that you can’t even allow anyone to make alterations in it because you can’t rely on anyone’s working style and their standard. Well, give them a chance, see what they can do. Observe their capabilities, let others lead sometime. Maybe they can do better than you, this might lower the pressure from your chest and allow you to rest and relax.
6. Allow yourself to make mistakes
Perfectionism is a challenge and as is dealing with it. Tease yourself, create the boundaries to stop you from getting out of control and working towards perfection. Making everything right and precise is not the only fun, making mistakes, enjoying mistakes, flaws and getting criticized can be soothing sometimes. It will help you to stop yourself from doing everything or living perfectly.
7. Accept and learn from criticism
Perfectionists fear criticism and hence, they keep doing things right and perfect to meet their imaginary implacable standards. Therefore, to stop being a perfectionist, one has to accept criticism and learn from it, rather than being unrelenting in their approach. Work wisely, efficiently, and reasonably. Choose your goals reasonably and work logically.
8. Avoid procrastination
Perfectionists sometimes due to their over-confidence tend to procrastinate and multitask as well which encourages more stress and anxiety and the desperate need of achieving perfection in them. Hence, avoiding multitasking, procrastinating is very essential to stop meeting the high standard bars created by them.
9. Adjust your standards
Know that every person is different and so their styles and standards. This difference might be distinct in the ways of approach and working but the output of the process can be the same and productive as well. Hence, it is crucial to adjust your standards more often and not push yourself to achieve the impossible or unattainable. Doing this you can reduce mental stress and improve your psychological well-being.
10. Spare some time for self-care
Perfectionists are over-achievers and sometimes workaholics as well. All they can see is work, perfection, tasks and more perfection. Their world revolves around achieving goals with ultimate perfection. Hence, they forget themselves, neglect their own mental and physical health sometimes. To avoid being a perfectionist, you need to spend sometime for yourself to relax and invest time for self-care. Enjoy your life with imperfections, accept flaws in you and all around you.
Always look at the positive side of your flaws and mistakes and learn to be patient. To stop being a perfectionist, let go off the word “perfect” and accept the substantial standard of the world.